Ambition

Apparently I have no ambition, drive or responsibility when my kids aren’t around. They’ve been with their dad all week(that’s like 7 days!). This isn’t the longest I’ve gone without them…but it is the longest I’ve gone without them and not accomplished a dang thing.

What to do.

Interviews are few and almost non existent. I’m a total loser in this area.

We had a good Christmas week in spite of my…complacency!! That’s the word I need.
Everyone got what they wanted and had a good time. Christmas Eve they went to their dad, it wasn’t so hard at first…but a day or so and I want them back.

I worked way too hard and on actual Christmas caught a cold. It’s a humdinger too. I was spending the day with Chris, but honestly felt like crap.
I wanted to sleep, but instead we hung out and cuddled and did a puzzle and watch movies. It was a pretty low-key day. It’s been one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had. In spite of the cold.

I’ve gotten thru this week without them…but I don’t feel like it’s something I want to do. Ever. I suppose if my ex takes me to court, a judge will make me. But until then I’m not sure I can live like this.

I need those kids. For now. I can’t limbo. I need them. I need them.

Someday they will grow up and be gone. Then I will worry about what the hell is wrong with me. Until then, being their mother is my ambition. It’s my purpose.

-Wayword