We’s ugly!

The ex and I had a “talk” about the custody of our kids tonight.

It was so ugly. I hate that he knows how to hurt me. I hate that I know how to hurt him. It’s ugly. I would NEVER talk to any human the way I speak to him. I’d never address an animal in the manner in which I speak to him. Yet, I’d never stoop so low as to say I wish he would die. He, at one point said he “imagined murdering me, then going off to masturbate about it.”

I’m positive that his winsome charm will get him his way in this issue of custody. As far as I can see, he’s a violent, selfish and cheating man. He tries to make himself out to wanting to be a more proactive father. I argue that he doesn’t deserve it, that his character is flawed. Granted, I’m not a judge. I can’t say what he deserves…but his own god has to be sorry for all the sins he has to cover for that guy.

Is he a good father? Sometimes. Most of his failures and flaws come from how he treats his ex wife, his family and friends. He seemingly only cares about what makes him happy.

He hasn’t truly talked to his kids to see what they want. He dismissed their thoughts, that I revealed to him, because I ask…as non relevant. In spite of the fact that I’ve been their main parent, that their lives have been happy and well since the divorce…he doesn’t care for that evidence at all. Only what he wants.

All in all. This is gonna be ugly. He won’t listen. Or be reasonable.

I am not sure what I am going to do. Writing about it on my blog probably isn’t the smartest thing. But, it frustrates me that I get the short end of the stick when the reason we are in this mess is because of him anyway. My hard work parenting my kids this far is to be handed over to him and his slut girlfriend/whore/whatever she is because he asks me to. Can you tell I’m mad? I’m so mad.

A real fugly mess. Right?